Surprise
by Akpaley
Summary: Tony's annual Halloween party in Stark Tower is going to be boring, Clint and Natasha are sure of it. Tony's annual Halloween party in Stark Tower is going to be awesome, Tony and Loki are sure of it. Sort of BlackHawk?
1. Chapter 1

My friend RiderRoni (look her up on DA) and I are making this story for you guys. Starts on Halloween, gotta be posted on Halloween, I say.

There will be swearing. There will be a couple F words. There will be more then one chapter. It will not interfere with my writing Dead Man.

Anyway, enjoy!

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Clint's boots clopped noisily as he walked down the hall to meet Nat by her room. He guessed she wasn't ready yet. Why was it that girls always took longer than guys to get ready? In his experience- Oh. The door suddenly opened, and there she stood in the sleek metallic doorway.

He gave her a quick up and down glance.

"Is that your costume?" asked Clint as he smirked and gestured to a small black hairpin she had used to pull back her side part. Besides it her appearance was completely normal. She looked just like... Natasha.

The master assassin in question flicked her brown, heavily lashed eyes up at the pin, which actually had a little plastic spider on it, then cast a vaguely annoyed glance at her partner.

"You know what Tony's parties are like, Nat. People will actually be dressed up," Clint added, and her gaze deepened.

"Well your costume is just a suit."

"Yeah. I'm dressed up as a guy in a suit."

She sighed.

"Whatever, I'm not planning on staying very long," she said as she closed the door behind her, "It all depends on how good the catering is this year."

"Ha, are you remembering that thing he got last time? What was it even?" The two started walking.

"Some kind of Mediterranean goop. Eugh!" She shuddered, "I don't know what he was thinking."

"That was pretty awful," Clint said with a laugh as they turned the corridor and headed to the parking garage. Stark tower was pretty nice, but he found it much too sleek; too industrial. The entire thing felt like some sort of luxury parking garage.

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xxx

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Loki stood in his room in Stark Tower looking out the window. He didn't need to look in the mirror, he knew what he was wearing down to the straps on his boots. A suit similar to-but not the same as-the one he had worn in part of his campaign against earth, black jacket with a white shirt and a simple green tie, black pants, and short black boots.

"What are you even supposed to be?" Tony asked as he entered the room, glancing around. Loki turned to see Tony dressed in a black travel cloak, over an silk tunic that contrasted the darkness of his cloak with a sanguine red.

Loki turned to allow his friend and employer to see him. "A lawyer." He smirked, and Tony rolled his eyes.

"No, see," Tony began in a tone of mock exasperation, "Halloween is about being something you weren't already. Here let me help you." The billionaire sauntered up to him, and pinned something to his tie. Loki looked down to see a green crest with a silver snake and the tiny letters that spelled out SLYTHERIN. He raised one eyebrow.

"Harry Potter? Really?" Though he supposed it did fit him well enough.

Tony grinned, revealing a set of fake fangs. "I see you've been reading my library." Loki shrugged and pushed past Tony to stand rather dramatically in the doorway.

"The preparations are ready?"

"Yes my prince," Tony mocked. Something else occurred to him. "Oh. Speaking of titles. You are forbidden to call me Lord Stark. I don't need Clint mocking me about that again."

"Yes my lord."

"Shut up."

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xxx

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When they arrived at the mansion they found the usual party scene, save for the crazy and creative costumes everyone was sporting. There was a grasshopper, a fully-decked-out ghost, and several rather pathetic attempts at Iron man. Stark employees had hung black and orange streamers across the ceiling and through the halls, sparkles and lights warmly lit each room, and there was color and punch in every corner.

Tony's parties were all too familiar to Clint and Natasha, who spent most of their time analyzing the delicacies one could pick off shiny silver trays and laughing at the ridiculous outfits amongst the crowds of guests.

They were both happy staying under the radar until Thor announced their presence with a booming greeting. Everyone around them turned to look, but soon got back to chattering once they realized it was only Tony's noisy friend. The enormous thunder god came up to Clint and slapped his shoulder, hurting him a little more than Clint would like to admit.

"Friend Barton! I am delighted to see that you are doing well! Ah, and Lady Natasha!" He turned to face her with a broad smile, taking her hand in his. "What an honor to have both of you attend this Hallows Eve party tonight, I have indeed missed you."

"It's great to see you, Thor," Clint smiled politely, "Are you enjoying the party so far?"

He stood back and smiled even more.

"It is a grand feast, though I am not very informed on the subject of Hallows eve."

"Do you have anything like it on Asgard?" Natasha asked with genuine curiosity as she sipped her punch.

"No, I do not think so. I understand it is a very popular Midgardian tradition, though?"

"People like to have fun with it," said Clint, "Has Tony explained it to you?"

"He attempted to," answered the giant with a hearty laugh, "but I'm afraid it is no easy task!"

Natasha smirked as she imagined Stark trying to explain something as obvious as Halloween. Tony was many things but not a good teacher. If the genius thought his loop-dee-loop, labyrinthine logic which followed the patterns of impossibly advanced scientific method was simple, then he had another thing coming trying to explain this one-way holiday to another person.

"Basically, you're supposed to dress up as something and parade your costume around town in exchange for candy," Natasha said matter-of-factly, having noticed that the god wasn't wearing anything out of the ordinary.

Thor tilted his golden head in confusion.

"But dear lady Natasha, you are not wearing a costume."

She realized she wasn't, and Clint snickered.

"He isn't either, you know," she said, gesturing playfully at her companion, "But that's besides the point! It's just the idea of Halloween, but it's mostly for little kids."

Thor didn't look all too convinced, but he still smiled in the corners of his mouth.

"...But I do not see any children at this gathering."

"Oh, it's just a party to celebrate the idea of Halloween, which means dressing up and getting drunk," added Clint, mildly entertained by Thor's confusion. The three friends talked in a friendly fashion for quite some time before Tony finally found the two SHEILD agents and dragged them away to go socialize with some important and impressive New Yorkers. Or so they thought.

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xxx

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The elevator dinged and its smooth steel doors parted, allowing the two men onto the second floor of Stark Tower. There were maybe hundreds of people milling about on the first and second floors, for the party was large enough to encompass both. Half the important people in New York were somewhere in this building, Loki knew, as well as several members of congress.

Unlike Thor, Loki had taken the trouble to learn about Midgard. This may-just a little bit-have had to do with the fact that strings had been pulled to get him pardoned. It was not something the midgardian courts had enjoyed doing for him, but he had studied their law, contributed gold to the right people, and he had been able to weasel himself out of taking credit for the invasion of earth. So far as the records were concerned, it was purely the Chitauri's fault.

At any rate, the place was absolutely full of important men and women as well as Stark Industries employees, actors, and of course the Avengers. Speaking of which, here was Bruce now. The man was leaning against the wall with a glass of punch-by which we mean fruit flavored alcohol, what else would Tony order?-wearing a long white lab coat and watching the crowds move. He displayed a kind of nervousness that was entirely unique to himself, the kind that let everyone know that this-people-was not his element and that he was scared the Other Guy might come out if he was pushed. Tony made a beeline for him, and Loki hovered not far behind.

"Geez, what is it with you guys?" Tony exclaimed, getting Bruce's attention. "You and Loki, both insisting on dressing up as things you already are."

"I'm a mad scientist."

"You were ALREADY a mad scientist!"

Bruce rolled his eyes and ignored Tony's overenthusiastic complaints. He turned to greet Loki with a slight nod. "Evening."

"Evening, sir Banner," Loki said with a smirk. Bruce raised an eyebrow, and Loki gave him a smaller and slightly less obnoxious smile. "Maybe not tonight then. Are you enjoying the festivities?" Bruce shrugged. "Well, be sure you're downstairs in half an hour. There's a seat saved for you."

At that Tony ceased his complaints about Bruce's costume choice in favor of an amused grin. "There is! Definitely be there. And tell Cap if you find him too."

Bruce nodded calmly, but the confusion and maybe a little bit of fear was evident in his eyes. "Will do."

The two of them wandered away, and when Tony found (and began flirting with) Pepper, Loki split off to socialize and put himself in the good graces of some politically powerful people before the event that was to take place in half an hour.

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xxx

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Ten minutes and thirty-seven seconds before the event, Loki managed to pull himself away from a conversation with a senator over the foreign policy issues that relations with Asgard would bring to the forefront of national politics and the national security implications of having a team of superheroes.

Nine minutes and six seconds before the event, Loki was downstairs on the first floor of Stark Tower, crossing the room toward the podium where he was to be standing. Before it was an orange and black carpet and several rows of seats, some of which were marked with the symbols of various Avengers. On the left, Bruce, Tony, and Pepper had front seats, and on the right seats were marked for Thor, Steve, and Coulson (who Tony had mischievously arranged to have sitting next to Cap).

Seven minutes and fifty-four seconds before the event, Loki had found the necessary book for the ceremony, Bruce and Steve as well as a few other guests were seated, unsure exactly what was going to transpire. Loki was amused to see Steve dressed in chain mail and a long red cloak, and wondered how he had come to be holding a pumpkin in his lap. He suspected it was Tony's doing.

Three minutes and forty seconds before the event, Coulson (dressed as a ninja, but Loki suspected he could use every one of those knives if necessary) was seated, as were an ever-growing number of confused guests. Loki could see Tony talking to Clint and Natasha.

One minute and six seconds before the event, Pepper (an angel) and Thor (in his normal clothes) were seated, and Tony was herding the two assassins over.

Sixteen seconds before the event, the two assassins were standing confused before the podium, and Tony said into the mic, "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to have your attention for a very special event."

Two seconds before the event, Tony was seated and Loki stepped up to the podium.

Showtime.

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xxx

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The only thought in Clint's mind was of denial.

_This isn't real,_ He tried to convince himself,_ It's not official. It doesn't count. It doesn't matter. It's not real its not real its not real, it won't go on any records, its just a stupid joke._

What made the gaping hole in his stomach continually widen was the seriousness surrounding the whole thing. Loki didn't look like he was joking, the bastard, and Tony certainly wasn't giving up the act.

And he felt like he should have seen it coming. There was something about this that made it all the more intimidating for the top SHEILD marksman: he couldn't help but feel as if he knew this was going to happen, that he had been warned and for some reason ignored it.

His thoughts raced along with his breath as he frantically tried to avoid eye contact with any other poor sod of a human being at this shindig.

_Damn it!_

_Why would they think this was funny?!_

And now he knew that the beautiful Red Head standing to his left was staring at him, with what kind of expression he didn't dare guess. Most likely one of confusion, or one of uncertainty, hopefully not one of blame. He kept his gaze frozen in front of him; not Tony or any of Thor's men could make him look one inch to the left and into the face of his friend.

_Not Tasha. _

_It will be over soon._

_It BETTER be over soon. _

_It's a joke. _

Hell, if she's pissed Tony doesn't know what's coming to him. He almost laughed with relief at that thought, maybe if she got him back somehow it wouldn't be so humiliating. And she could do it, too. Tony has maybe dealt with an angry woman before, but never with an angry huntress.

He wondered if Pepper had tried to talk to him about it. God, he wished he had listened, but apparently that was not one of his strong suits. Clint wouldn't call himself a romantic, but he did know one thing: you don't plan a woman's wedding for her and get away with it.

Not that this was a real wedding.

It wasn't.

Oh god, she was looking at him again: her soft but taunting eyes practically burning a hole in the side of his head trying to get the frozen marksman to give her some answers.

He tried to breath, but Loki's silvery voice drifted out from behind him and he couldn't.

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xxx

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Loki suppressed a grin as he read through the ceremony. The looks on everyone's faces were just too good. Bruce looked as though he didn't believe this was really happening, staring at the proceedings with a sort of shocked awe. Tony had a completely straight face, though Loki could see the mirth in his eyes. Pepper looked... was that pitying, disapproving, or angry? Either way it was directed at Tony and himself. Across the way, Thor was looking on with a kind of excited pride. Next to him, Steve looked utterly bewildered and maybe a tad nervous and twitchy. Coulson was frowning, and Loki knew he was thinking of the time almost a month ago when he had stumbled upon hints that this event would occur, but not put it together. What made his grin the hardest to suppress though was not the expression of any one person, but the implications of the whole event.

Loki was a lawyer. Upon being found innocent, Loki had manipulated his way into full US citizenship, following which he had completed law school in a record time of two years. This meant that he was legally able to marry the two assassins. On top of that, there were a couple hundred witnesses.

There was no way the two of them could get out of this.

"Natasha Romanoff, do you take this man to be your husband, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

Natasha shot him one of her darkest looks. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Ooh, swearing in front of a crowd. She was mad.

"Was that a yes? I'm not quite sure."

"THAT WAS A YES!" shouted Tony from the audience before Pepper threatened to strangle him.

"Apparently that was a yes. Clint Barton, do you take this woman to be your wife, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" Loki barely kept the smirk off his face, but it was getting harder by the second.

Clint stood there, gaping, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Finally he managed to choke out, "What?"

"Was that a yes? I couldn't tell."

His objections were drowned out by Thor, in good-natured and incredibly ignorant imitation of Tony, shouting "THAT BE A YES!"

"Apparently that was a yes. I declare you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Nobody knew where Tony got the confetti from, but at the moment they were all too shocked to care.

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Hope you liked! More to come. That is the entirety of the Halloween chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys. I'm sorry we took so long. I guess I was kinda hoping this would go on longer than it did, after all we had some writing after the conclusion of the first story piece. The second story piece was going to be about Tony making stupid decisions and Clint getting on his case about it. But that never happened, and I've just been really pretty lame about putting up the material I owe you guys, even though it's been written since the beginning of November.  
So here you all go. End of the Halloween story.

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Natasha slammed the door behind her, and Clint begin to back away down the hall. She stomped after him.

"The FUCK was THAT!?"

She stared at him open mouthed, face flushed; bewildered. Her tone was infuriated, but at least it wasn't directed at Clint.

They were standing in some back hallway, probably leading to an abandoned exit of some kind. Steel stairs spiralled down the corridor at the end of the hall. The walls here were probably the only ones in the building that remained undecorated, and frankly Natasha was enjoying the pale shade of grey.

She turned and abruptly leaned against the wall next to Clint, who looked about as miserable as Hell. The red head sighed, and the burst of air echoed dully down the hall.

"I'm guessing you didn't know about this, then." Nat added after a short pause, and the two friends tried to gather their thoughts.

"No," Clint answered quietly, but there was pain in his voice. It was obvious he was having a harder time with this than she was. Somehow that gave her some small level of comfort, and her fiery resolves lessened.

Natasha knew this man probably better than anyone else on the face of the earth: she knew he would march to toward a fate darker than Hell's blackest abyss without so much as a second thought. But put him in a situation like _this_, and he was a lost soul. But she was the same. And there was practically nothing she admired more than the way in which he lived his life. At least she had him.

Nonetheless, despite the fact the Black Widow knew she had a weakness, she was not going to let this just happen, and this was NOT okay. And whether or not this was about the two of them, it wasn't going to be like this.

How dare they try to do this to her, how dare they think they had the power to do this to anyone!? Hell knows you DON'T do this kind of thing! It was completely idiotic. She wasn't going to let them get away with doing this to Clint. And she knew she was becoming infuriated beyond control, but that was HER. They knew that, they were going to have to deal with consequences! She couldn't deal with this like any healthy person; like Clint, and this crossed the line too far to even try.

xxx

"Uuuhhg," Clint sighed, and rubbed his hands over his face. He really couldn't believe all that had actually happened. Stupid.

Nat, who was leaning with her back against the wall and her arms crossed looked at him, her red locks slipping over her shoulder and her dark eyes cloudy with concern. Not many would read that expression as concern, but Clint could tell by the ever-so-slight way her head was poised.

Although he dreaded it, eventually he pulled his hands down and met her gaze. And though he didn't know what to expect, Clint found the least expected.

Slowly, a small smile spread across her face.

He raised his brow in surprise, and the dark eyes that glanced back at him watched him intently. The marksman sighed, but this time it was warmer. It felt nice to just be alone with Tasha. Just honest, just him.

Minutes passed as the two assassins stood side by side against the pale grey wall.

Clint sank his head in frustration, and Natasha looked back at him with cold resolve clouding her features. As he looked back at her his eyelids sank, his expression one of cynicism, and contempt for those involved in this disgusting joke.

Natasha rolled her eyes and glared him all too seriously.

Clint exhaled sharply, then spoke, his voice much lighter, to Natasha's relief. "Know any good food joints? I'm starved."

xxx

Clint and Natasha were not seen in Stark Tower for over a month. In fact, they weren't seen at ALL by any of the tower's residents until one day some idiot got it into his head that trying to take over Washington DC and kidnap the president with giant robots. Not the MOST original method of attempting a takeover, Tony thought to himself, but certainly difficult to deal with. Yes he could shoot them, yes he could break them, yes so could the others. It was the sheer volume that was difficult to deal with, not to mention the fact that they were down three members. Bruce hadn't wanted to rip up the capital of the United States and was instead managing the comm systems and giving Tony, Steve, and Thor notifications regarding where the concentrations of robots were highest. The fight was going well enough despite all these setbacks, though Tony thought it might have been done half an hour ago if the rest of the team had bothered to show up.

Tony was rounding a corner when he heard Bruce's voice in his ear. "We've got something going on two streets down from you, Tony."

"What kind of something?" He leveled out his flight and fired a couple shots at the nearest bot, watching it fall apart in a sparking mess.

"We had a big mass of bots over there a moment ago, half of them just disappeared. Can you investigate?"

"Sure thing, big guy." He drew himself to a vertical position and shot up over the building to his left, toward the source of Bruce's reports. The street was a large one, and they had known there were bots massing there, but it had been entirely evacuated and they hadn't worried about it too much, so there shouldn't be anyone there... Right?

Apparently only if Clint didn't count as anyone, he thought as the far rooftop came into view and he saw the archer crouched, bowstring drawn back, picking off the bots beneath him one by one. The stupid things seemed completely oblivious to him, all gathered around something on the ground... Something performing a series of acrobatic kicks and blocks. Yeah, that would be Natasha. Being a distraction. While Clint shot things with exploding arrows.

"I LOVE YOU GUYS," Tony shouted across the street.

"SCREW YOU TOO," Clint shouted back.

Tony joined Natasha on the ground, cheerfully beating the ever-living daylights out of the bots. Soon enough, there were none left and Tony's feet hit the ground for the first time since his arrival in Washington and he pulled his helmet off.

"Nice to see you again," he told Natasha. "We were starting to wonder if you lovebirds were-"

His words came to an abrupt halt as as Natasha's fist collided with his face with a sharp crack. Tony staggered backwards.

"Wait," he said, holding up his hands in surrender, "Did I do something wrong? Do you two not like each other?"

It looked like Natasha was going to punch him again just for that statement, but instead she curtly replied, "Love is for children."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "I notice that wasn't a no."

Natasha sighed, finally displaying an emotion besides hatred. No, this was closer to tense annoyance or exasperation. "I am an assassin, you idiot. My life is dangerous. It would be nice if you would refrain from putting my weak points on display for the entire world to see."

"So you guys do like each other."

"None of your damn business, Stark."

"You guys are legally married, I just want to know if I should be finding you divorce papers." This earned him another shot at his chin before Natasha stalked back to her partner. Tony grinned before speaking into the comm. "Guys, the spider and the hawk are back."

xxx

Loki paced by Bruce's side, tsk-ing the scientist. Bruce pointedly ignored the small sounds the god was making through clenched teeth and continued to monitor the imaging that S.H.I.E.L.D.'s various instruments were relaying to the four laptops that sat on the floor around him.

"I thought since Barton left this was MY job."

Bruce sighed. "Alright guys, apparently Loki got rid of Clint so he could take over running communications. You guys had better finish this up before he kills me for taking his job."

Steve's voice crackled in, sounding out of breath. "Good to know. We'll be sure to, just as soon as we figure out where they're coming from."

Loki rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, the sound cut short when it's source abruptly disappeared. Bruce glanced back behind him before turning back to his work, thankful that the god had found something else to do, or at the very least someone else to harass. Oh. He hoped Loki wouldn't be found on a roof somewhere blasting robots with fireballs or something. He wasn't sure the government would take kindly to that. They were still a bit tense about the magical power the god possessed, and to Bruce's knowledge it was still against the law for the god to use it in any violent manner.

A few moments later the tail end of a snap sounded and Loki appeared behind him again. Dusting himself off, the god plucked Bruce's headset from his head. Bruce protested as Loki placed it on his own head and clicked it on. "Steve Rogers, you there?"

A heartbeat passed in silence, and then, "Yes. Wait, is that Loki?"

"Don't worry, I'll give you back to your colleague in a moment. The source of your bots is dealt with. You will find him tied to the fence in front of your precious White House. Just thought you should know. Loki out." He handed the headset back to a staring Bruce. "What? I got bored."

Bruce held his gaze for a moment longer before sighing and shoving the headset back onto his head. "Next time you get bored, go hang out with Pepper or something."

"We both know she doesn't like having me teleport into her board meetings."

"Okay. Go hang out with JARVIS. Just... Be somewhere else."

"No," Loki replied, dropping into a sitting position by Bruce's side. "Hey, you just lost two dozen bots over there, and nobody's taking care of them."

"That wasn't YOU?"

"You think I of all people would break the law? I am offended at your lack of trust."

Bruce decided that maybe if he didn't answer, Loki just MIGHT shut up.

* * *

Okay. Surprise is officially finished now. Have a good day.


End file.
